०२ फेब ०६

Emperor Norton I

I went home again.

The city. The bay. The people. This is home and I don't want to change it. I dream more there, I think more there - I might even dance better there. Then again, maybe not.

I'm getting old or else I'm just getting bored. Either way life always ends up like a david bowie song - pretty but with no real meaning. I've been trying to write a lot more lately but yet I find I've got nothing to write about.

I mean, technically I should be able to write volumes. Shit, we could start with Eric. Did you know he has a black pair of short shorts that he wears to the gym that have the words "Man Eater" written along the ass in hot pink? Seriously, I should be able to do something with that - but...what's the bother.

San Francisco though...what do you hold in store for me? My wallet gets a workout and my legs get tired and yet I'm smitten by you. If you could only cheat on me once or twice you'd remind me of an ex-girlfriend. Ooh....that was cheap.

Top 5 breakups of all time ( courtesy of Hi Fidelity)

1. Gould.

I don't really want to get into this story, lets just say it's hard to know that some times I was the bad guy, it's even harder to know that and keep it up. Thats how I roll, I keeps it gangsta.

2. Alena Palivoda

She was my first kiss. Polish and little mosquito bite boobies. This is in third grade and she always wanted to see my p-e-n-i-s. Little did I know that this would be a good indicator of things to come. For some reason my parents got it into my head that if a girl wanted to have sex with me then she definatley had to have AIDs.Therefore she became the first person I ever knew who had AIDs. In retrospect its really fucked up, but also I laughed when I wrote AIDs. It makes me thing of that song from Team America: World Police. We broke up after I accidentally broke her nose while playing T-Ball. I failed to mention that she is also my first girlfriend.

3) Jerri Something

She had a tattoo that drove me wild. I was 19 and at 17 she was already way cooler then me. This also would be a good indicator of things to come. It was a weird x crush and I don't think that I'd ever experienced that before. We used to do ether because I thought Hunter S. Thompson was cool...he still is. We broke up when a friend of mine who was a stripper let me in on the fact that she was sleeping around with like 4 other dudes and a traveling circus. Nice. It wasn't the fact that she went behind my back, it was that everyone knew but no one said a thing. Also, I think she stole my neighbors cat.

4) Rachel Knudsen.

We didn't really break up as much as disovle. She was my rebound in highschool. She started off as a best friend and finished off in a moan. We went to NY together and hated every second we spent...but god we were good in bed. Went to the poconos and relived my childhood in a Salvador Dali sort of way. Transitional like a junior prom.

5) Amber Kennedy

This is the first girl I ever loved. We worked together at the New Mexican writing for the teen page. God what a body (whistling sound ensues) She used to follow me home from school without me knowing. Now that would be known as stalking - but back when I was in highschool it was still hot. Sort of is now too. She promised me the world and faked tears on the phone when she broke my heart. I was sick for three days. In a good indicator of things to come I hooked up with her best friend. I never saw her again.

Dark thoughts from distant days, like Joy Division I'm being over dramatic.
Why did the blonde go to church?

Because she heard there was a man hung like this ( stretches arms out...christlike)